Cabbage Baby
by Admiral T. DeVanto
Summary: "Dr. Grisha, where do babies come from?" A simple, innocent question from Mikasa leads to Grisha Yeager spinning an old wives tale based on the age old question that all children ask, and one all parents dread.


Mikasa stared out the window, biting her lip as she watched Eren outside in the garden with Carla. The sun was high in the sky and offered some warmth against the chill the cold wind brought in. Mikasa adjusted her red scarf around her neck, her dark eyes flickering over to Grisha who was sitting calmly at the kitchen table inside. The tea cup in his left hand was warm, yet the soup bowl near his elbow had to be lukewarm by now. Whatever he was reading at the moment had to be interesting enough for him to forget his small meal.

Mikasa pulled her knees up to her chest, her skirt bunched up. She frowned thoughtfully at her clasped hands, mulling over her thoughts.

She had just one question. Just one. It had been a question she had asked her own mother when she was still alive. Then, her mother had deflected the question and stated that her father would know the answer. Mikasa's father, however, had looked stunned at the simple question his daughter had asked him.

All she wanted to know was where babies had come from. What was the big deal?

Well, whatever the reason, her father had stated that Dr. Yeager would answer her question when he arrived. Such a statement had amused her mother then. Mikasa had been all but ready to inquire further about the seemingly elusive and complicated answer.

But then, her parents had been murdered in front of her. She had witnessed what no child should ever have seen.

The death of her parents at the hands of criminals.

At that point and time, her mind had gone numb, and she had drawn a blank as the world became nothing to her. All the questions she had wanted to ask were forgotten in the horrifying moment of death and despair.

But now, here in the safety of the Yeagers home and a member of this family, she was reminded of that question once more.

She had tried to find an answer herself, but whatever she came up with made no sense. This had lead to days of thoughtful reflection, and she had reluctantly determined that she would indeed have to ask Grisha where babies came from eventually.

But in all honesty, she was a bit worried about broaching the subject in the first place. After all, it had been the last conversation she had with her parents before their brutal murders.

She glanced once more at the doctor before looking out the window. She was safe here, she did not need to worry about anymore bandits coming to her new home and destroying her life once more.

Her hold on her scarf tightened as her eyes flickered back to Eren who was making faces at the load he was forced to carry outside.

No, she would not let anything happen to this new life of hers.

With a sigh, she got up and slid off of the small stool she had been sitting on. She approached Grisha calmly, hands folded in front of her.

"Dr. Yeager," she started, catching his attention and causing him to look up from his reading. She took in a deep breath, ready with her question. "Where do babies come from?"

To her complete surprise, Grisha's reaction was much like her father's, and she grew worried about the possible outcomes. Though she did not break away from Grisha's startled stare, she did listen intently for anyone hostile that could be lurking outside the door.

Grisha did not answer for a full minute, and no bandits did come in that moment, as Mikasa was relieved to find out. His eyes flickered over to the table before he cleared his throat and sat up a bit straighter.

"Cabbages," he said swiftly.

Mikasa frowned, tilting her dark head. "Cabbages?" she repeated.

"Cabbages," he stated with a firm nod. "Yes, they come from cabbages."

Mikasa pulled up a chair and sat down, looking at him with wide eyes. "How?"

He blinked. "How? How what?"

"How do babies come from cabbages?" she asked simply, fully interested now.

He cleared his throat, looking visibly uncomfortable. "Well," he said, clasping his hands together. "When...when a man and a woman decide to have a baby," he paused, looking lost for a moment. "They go and pick a seed. They then plant the seed and garden it for a while. Then the baby is inside the cabbage."

Mikasa frowned in confusion, nodding to herself. When she looked back at the doctor, he had completely hidden the look of relief from his face.

"So how does the baby get inside the mother's stomach?" she asked.

Grisha's eyes widened momentarily before he closed his eyes, grimacing. "The...When the cabbage is ready, the mother...consumes the cabbage and the baby goes inside her stomach to be born."

Mikasa's eyes widened. "She eats the baby?"

"Not really," Grisha said quickly, seeing the stunned look on her face. "She eats the...the cabbage that the baby is inside of. The baby is protected though, so it won't get hurt. It's not the same way you would eat an apple. It's different."

"How is it different?" she asked, her confusion growing with every answer she was given. "And how does the baby not turn into poop if the mother has eaten the cabbage?"

Grisha swallowed, and he clenched his hands together. "Well, I am not a mother, so I do not know. You might need to ask Carla about that."

Mikasa nodded happily, all too eager to collect the answers she needed now to this very complicated question. With a quick 'thank you' to Grisha, she scampered out the door and into the bright outside.

As the door slammed shut behind her, Grisha slumped in his seat wearily. He removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead tiredly. Of all the questions he would have thought Mikasa would have asked him, he had not expected that one.

The first question that had been on the tip of his tongue was to ask if her parents had ever explained to her such a complex event. But then, he realized that the subject of her parents would still be a sensitive subject.

But he still did not know why he just didn't explain to her the truth. But one glance at his cabbage soup, and the myth his mother had told him when he was a child came to mind. But, to be honest, explaining that babies came from cabbages was a lot easier than telling Mikasa the messy truth.

What he had told her was a lie, but at the moment, this certain lie was easier to tell then the truth.

But wasn't lying always like that?

He frowned as he slouched slightly in his chair. He looked up suddenly at the sound of the back door opening, and he smiled when he watched Carla enter the room.

"Mikasa is looking for you," he stated with a smile.

She smiled back as she set the basket she was carrying down on a small table. "Oh? What did she need?"

Grisha cleared his throat, getting up from his chair. "She wants to know...where babies come from."

Carla paused, her eyes going wide before she laughed. "And you passed her on to me?" She chuckled in amusement. "Really Grisha," she started. "You are a doctor. Did you give her some long, lengthy lecture?"

He rubbed the back of his neck with a hint of bashfulness. "She assumes they come from cabbages before the mother eats them."

Carla froze for just a minute before a groan escapes her lips. "At least it wasn't the potato explanation," she muttered. At her comment, Grisha grimaced at the reminder of the poor example he had given his son on where children came from.

* * *

Mikasa rushed out, not catching sight of Carla anywhere. She did, however, notice Eren in the small garden, up to his knees in dirt.

She approached him before kneeling down to help him. Eren grunted as he pulled out a potato and placed it in the small basket, his eyes flickering over to her.

"Eren," Mikasa said quietly. "Where is your mother?"

"Inside," he grunted as he wiped at the potato, trying to rid it of the dirt. "She went in through the back."

Mikasa looked back at the house, then down at her dirty hands. She sighed. "Oh," was all she said. She continued to help Eren before looking up at him. "I found out something very interesting," she started.

Eren just grunted, wiping at his forehead and smearing dirt on his face.

"Babies come from cabbages," she declared.

Eren blinked as he looked sharply at her. He then laughed. "Ha! What idiot told you that? Babies don't come from cabbages! They come from potatoes! My dad said so. He said that mother was digging in the garden and found me in the potato and that I was too cute to leave behind."

Mikasa frowned as she looked at the lumpy, brown vegetable that was covered in wet dirt. "That's odd," she said softly. "Your father just told me that they come from cabbages."

Eren frowned as also stared at the vegetable in his dirty hands. First off, it just occurred to him that he had called his father an idiot. Then there was the fact that his father had given both Eren and Mikasa different explanations as to where babies came from.

His frown deepened. "Maybe boy babies come from potatoes and girls come from cabbages?" he theorized.

Mikasa nodded at his sound reasoning. In a way, it made sense to her. But the idea of having to eat a cabbage to have a girl baby was kind of weird to her. Maybe she would have just all boys if gardening them was all it took.

"Look," Eren whispered excitedly, catching her attention. She looked up to see him holding up a packet of seeds. Her eyes widened when she noticed what seeds he was holding.

Potato seeds.

* * *

Grisha and Carla both looked up as Mikasa and Eren rushed inside, Eren's excited voice ringing in the room. Both parents blinked in amusement at the sight of Mikasa faithfully following behind Eren while the young boy held something proudly in his hands.

"Mother, Father," he declared bodly. "We have decided we want a brother."

Grisha choked on his tea while Carla froze before a grin of amusement came across her face.

"Oh really?" she asked, hands on her hips while Grisha looked at his wife with wide eyes. "You want a brother?"

Eren nodded. "Yep! Here, you can plant the potato seeds in the garden."

"Better hurry before the frost hits and the baby freezes," Mikasa said softly, concern showing in her eyes as Eren dumped his 'brothers' into Grisha's open hands. The doctor could only stare at his son in open shock.

"There," Eren said with a nod. "Four brothers." He pointed at the door. "Go plant my brothers dad!"


End file.
